Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
