the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
