I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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