honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
