Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
