What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize