when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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