I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize