omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
