its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
