so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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