That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
