Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
