He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
