We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
