I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
