i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
