i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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