He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
