Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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