I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Alive.
So much puke
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I believe in your delicious
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
