Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
