Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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