Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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