I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
