Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
