Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i now understand why vodka
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
