he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
