so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
