chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
