u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
