so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
