How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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