i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
