is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
