I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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