Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
