conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize