Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
