He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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