Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
