Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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