My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
