i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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