what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize