The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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