Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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