I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
