I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
