Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
