it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
