I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
