Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
