I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
