I got chris browned last night
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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