Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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