I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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