Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
