pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Barsexuality is the new black.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
