Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
