some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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