is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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